beyond ridiculous is forgiveness

it's all about removing judgment, really, and understanding that time is relative and this is not a daily or concrete record of a life, rather, it is a relatively abstract record of a life... and what is a life, anyway?... and does it matter if we agree on answers?... only for communicating, so when communicating starts, we can start defining words in more detail... until then, this is what it is... and what brings me here tonight is a flurry of entries real reminder of the way into me and my heart and out of the blue which was inspired, for better or worse, but the black and blue results of getting beat up in life again... it is sad... for the record, this has been a sad week that is following a much sadder month and i obviously let the energy drop, sadness grow, and apathy expand too far...

and what sort of record is this when i am not actually recording what happened?...

last month we terminated the dog... this month the job terminated me... i'm the lucky one, my termination was just income and work... the dog, he's gone... it was his time, alas, and we could have justified doing it last year, actually, but we nursed him as long as he could smile and show he was enjoying life... as for me, losing happiness (the blog name for our dog) was a large part of the downward spiral that ended in losing my job, but the dip in life force has been tripping me up for a couple of years and the hole is getting deeper... yeah, for the record, depression swings it's heavy hand at me now and then and sometimes, it connects quite well...

and still, the overall level of joy is quite giddy most of the time... we can attribute that to the irreverent perspective of relativity i bring to most every experience in this life... and the understanding of the temporary nature of this life helps a lot... but then, there are plenty of other blogs that give deeper insights and creative expressions of me and life and the universe and everything so before this simple record of a life fails in it's initial intended purpose, let's just say bye bye happiness, income, and a little more time... and thank goodness for softball which is going quite well this season... and for jackson, so i am not completely alone in time and space...

so for the record, my happiness still rises above my sadness and while life is challenging, it is also much fun... and for the record, i need a new income so if anybody is reading and knows about a job in the Orlando, Florida area, please pass the information along... online resume here...

thanks...