elsewhere

so it has been a year of relative disconnect from this blog as i am still missing the point, or time, or motivation, or desire, or whatever it will take to move into any sort of daily updating of this record of a life, but at least the life continues as it is, with inner glee and bliss dominating the quiet moments alone in spite of lonely chaos all around... of course if i knew someone was reading i might find myself making time to return here more, but the daily writing remains elsewhere and it may be because i a waiting for someone to understand (and let me know) or maybe i am simply content waiting inside, even if no one ever knows... i can still imagine memories (if you know what i mean)... of course this record may be just for me and i am not interested, but the truth is i would rather be having fun with words than analyzing that bit of amusement or depression at the moment... anyway interested can find me elsewhere and who knows what might change here or there or everywhere if some sort of communication was initiated...

simply, i am busy busy busy with work and relaxing anytime i am not working... work is very gratifying and challenging, as the frustrations are outweighed by the rewards of helping others (which is still my favorite thing to do in life)... softball is on hiatus this month and yet i recently started dropping weight and hope that continues... home is neglected as both jackson and i are hardly here, both working that much, but we don't think about personal stuff much and stay on the surface... the tv plays a lot in the background and i watch dvr-ed shows as i fall asleep most nights... i miss music, but still squeeze in a concert now and then (melissa etheridge in recent weeks, chicago and alice cooper and motley crue a few months ago... that's what i remember for now)... deep down i remain open to falling in love again, but i am not looking and getting less willing to compromise with each passing year (as i've said)... that's the record for now, for what it's worth...