everything changes

what is expected is that everything and some changes are expected more than others... what is not expected is the suddenness of some changes... so the temporary income from the contracted job ends, which was expected anytime in december... what was not expected was the suddenness of the end in the blink of an eye just before december began... maybe it's the insecurity of the manager... maybe there is another reason, though no other reason was given even when asked for... anyway, the change comes a week or two earlier than hoped for, but the expected change comes... and with each change comes a challenge, some more fun than others... some with more risk and poetential downside than others... this one, loss of income and needing a job, comes with both extremes...

so it is time to renew the search for a new income... ummmm, next year... the lemonade shall be a couple of extra weeks off to enjoy this year... gotta ride the changes and the challenges too and enjoy them as much as possible, after all :)

wonderful life, though temporary

the title could lead to some massive cosmic epic profound writing no doubt, but all it leads to is this record of the life entry that smiles about the work environment i fell into and the people i am working with... it is slightly awkward because i am temporary and apparently few people are aware that i am temporary based on their reaction as i tell them, but it is still a very comfortable work place aside from that...

the income makes life easier to enjoy as even though it might be wise to cut back severely on all spending, i am enjoying life as i always have cuz, after all, i could be dead tomorrow... you'll just have to keep checking in here (or actually, the daily blog for now) to find out if i am or am not, aye? :)

good weeks

though this blog is still not finding a voice or purpose because (e)thereal has become the depository for just about everything i think or feel or experience in daily life as it is in manic entry mode these days... this blog appears to want to be the next step of the record of a life... timing is everything and it will be what it will be when it is time for it to be what it will be...

what i remember about the last two weeks is that they have been good weeks... there's the record, for what it's worth, for now :)

training

going through orientation is a stepping stone to a new job but it is not an actual new life as opening a book is not actually reading it or perhaps more precisely reading the instructions is not actually putting the the new toy together... the floating through life vacation is over, but the new life, that is just scratching the surface of beginning... a new phase is beginning and this week, five days of waking early to be at orientation (first two days) and sit in on three days of the orientation that the staff get... learning the ropes of a new organization takes time when the job entails knowing as much as possible about the organization in order to identify as many specific and systematic risks and quality improvement opportunities as possible anywhere in the organization (kinda like being an organizational dr. house or perhaps more precisely like there is no tv show analogy to describe what i do {ok, so the obvious idea here, sarcastic or not, is a show about risk management but we aren't going there at the moment}, but something like that)...

why so serious?

looking back on the week

much time was spent preparing for the new schedule starting on monday... a lot of cleaning and household stuff and paperwork type stuff and phone calls that i won't have time for starting next week... the (e)thereal blog continues to be flooded with entries for whatever reason... last gasps or attention seeking or stats seeking (which is attention seeking) or... anyway, the several entries a day daily dump continues there as that has become the place for the sanity writing, which i might explain another time if you have not already stumbled upon the explanation... it's become a very consistent habit that keeps me as content and happy and stable and euphoric as i can be no matter what...

facebook took up a few nights (a subconscious reaction to starting the new job and switching to a 9-5 life apparently had me up all night a few nights this week now that i look back on it as a week)... i created my first "pages" there, three of them, and i must have had good reasons to start public pages out there in the fb world... maybe i am reaching out again... maybe the lonelies are budging aside the solitary contentment... or maybe i just want to make some sort of broader mark out in fb land... anyway, i spent several nights online...

i ran a 5k yesterday... with the foot wrap and unwrap and slower time cuz of foot and lower stamina and shower and hydrate that was more than 2 hours... used to be i could decide to run, slip on sneakers and head out the door and shower and be done with a 5k in less than half an hour... an aging body is so time consuming... i would like a medical check up, but no health insurance this year means no thorough check up this year... bad timing to lose the health insurance... hopefully no cancers are growing anywhere that would be found in the routine checks people our age are suppose to get... no bummer thoughts today... i ran/walked a 5k yesterday and feel fine today :)

have softball in a little while and the weekend begins.... wishing for more time... hoping you are smiling more than frowning... sending love :)

water for the boys

again... and another new life starts, sort of, as the phone rings and a job is offered and it is the second best job in town (maybe the best) for me cuz i can do it in my sleep and yet there are as many challenges as i'd like to take on and the atmosphere and appreciation is such a positive opposite compared to where i've been... so life is good and karma does come around once in a while...

again...

a bit of history

is (or was) it irony that Last Chance To See (Douglas Adams) was the reading (paused) when i finally drifted away from the first online blog that i maintained in simple html text files uploaded to my supposed webpage for life (remember those?) web space provided by the early internet service providers (lycos, infoseek, go, and lastly at&t who deleted thousands of pages in spite of the fact that i was a paying customer... corporate reorganizations made it legal, though not ethical or moral or right)... and is it fitting that the third entry here reaches back for those roots and the feelings so deep they feel almost numb, so asleep for so long, so tired of waiting to be shared like a prehistoric flow of natural history under everything, the mantle of the online written gardens... how the books were once threefold, the first for the surface, the thoughts about the events of the life, the second for the babble, the free flow random association of thoughts and the third for the feelings, the depths of wonder that the sensory experience can be... those hand written volumes are in storage near niagara falls, ny, waiting for the time of sharing, for the one who wants to share that much... all the secrets and perhaps, some real hints to who i am... wouldn't i like to know lol lam :)

the former written gardens online which lead to a kind of signposts page, a crossroads once links to all of the online writings, though, alas, so many links there have died which is one reason that is now being reincarnated as the new crossroads loosely called opinions and complaints (where links are alive for now) and the latest explanatory notes introducing the current paths and blogging notes added to as new growth (writing) develops... and these are the backbones, foundations, pillars, and primary paths leading into the writings that become much more than just the record of a life...

... tbc?

perhaps this

referring to this is more what shall be as i shift from the blurry near-depressive complaints phase more toward the optimistic awareness and opinions aspect of my personality... and as i introduce the written gardens to new friends, it helps me put the challenges into perspective... the rhymes come to let me use my creativity and love of word play to release thoughts and emotions deeper than the surface... and this (this morning) may be proof that something is coming... we may find more proof if i re-evaluate when i wake tonight or tomorrow or soon...

kit :)

maybe starting over

as with any major life change, which would include changing a job, there are opportunities to re-create or re-invent (if there's a difference) one's self and so, i start this blog on the off chance i decide to do that or even, if i decide to try yet another time to create and maintain a daily life blog that does remains a daily life blog (as opposed to an emo griping blog or a babbling about whatever blog) and even, if i attempt to upgrade the positive perspective i strive to maintain in this life in the written record of the life and that last reason may be the best reason for starting a new daily life blog...

so here it is and we shall see what it shall become...

just in case you want to know...