tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26909763797785492772024-02-20T14:33:14.743-05:00record of a lifecandoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-22976819453195790722020-03-01T00:24:00.000-05:002020-03-01T00:40:34.018-05:00To Be Sure<p align=justify>Or something like that, certainly <a href=https://recordofalife.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-major-changes.html target="_blank">the major changes</a> were recorded and remain, but this was a comment to my blog famiy but when the comment was too long to post, I borough it here because, well, it's a record of a life, sort of... so it is here. <br />
<br />
I am floating around the net these days, other daily blogs have replaced this one, and dozens of other blogs have sprouted <a href=https://rhetroric.blogspot.com/2011/06/blogs-and-other-strangers.html>untouted</a>, but longing for notice just the same. I seldom Tweet, but exist there. I rarely Facebook, but have a few large clans there (various softball teams, to mention a few, and dozens of pages I've created over the years that occasional receive content), I am alive, in my own way, in many places online. <br />
<br />
Offline, I work and play softball and text with my best friend, but seldom have much else going on in life. Partly due to lack of time, mostly due to lack of inspiration outside of my head. People seldom interest me for more than a few moments anymore, which is sad, but I tired of the repetitious fears and judgments, so I enjoy my reclusive personal life and stay busy 80-90 hours a week with work and softball. <br />
<br />
I share a 2200 sq ft house, so have lots of space (though my storage stuff remains in New York since I put it there 25 years ago) and it is comfortable. My roommate is a very compatible younger guy who brings two kids into my world every week or so and they are respectful as kids go. I love the space in which I live, in spire of the diminished privacy when the kids are here due to the layout (their bedrooms, the laundry room, the garage, and the front door are on my side of the house). Mostly, it's quiet and just right for me. <br />
<br />
Life is good, loneliness comes around less often as I've accepted my differences and no longer seek compromise, much lol. I wish you as happy a life and wish we could continue our communications... <br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-9696249850896893562020-01-25T10:32:00.001-05:002020-01-26T00:56:46.954-05:00The Major Changes<p align=justify>And in the end... I suppose this blog might have been meant to be a daily blog, but somehow it never took off as the <a href=https://incaseitmatterstoyou.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">daily</a> <a href=https://dirtdramadetails.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">duo</a> it might have replaced never paused long enough to fade into the background (some <a href=https://e-the-real.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">dailies</a> <a href=https://candoor.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">never</a> <a href=https://candoor.diaryland.com/ target="_blank">truly</a> <a href=https://candora.diaryland.com/ target="_ban">end</a> {like love}, if you know what I mean), but this blog remains as the lead blog for the expanded daily set it might have been meant to be (the set consists primarily of this and <a href=https://boredcaring.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">these</a> <a href=https://caringisaverb.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">three</a> <a href=https://outotblue.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">sisters</a> <a href= target="_blank"></a> and several <a href= target="_blank"></a> <a href= target="_blank"></a> <a href=https://paragraphsofasort.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">off</a> <a href=https://cautiontothewinds.blogspot.com/ target="_bank">shoots</a>, <a href=https://hypergraphiatic.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">maybe</a>, though the latter three are also tied to the current daily that did not pause long enough for this one to actually take root in day to day daily life, and then there are a <a href=https://bullsugar.blogspot.com/ target="_bank">few</a> <a href=https://funda.diaryland.com/ target="_blank">other</a> older sidebars that may still draw words now and then and still other <a href=https://cancellsthink.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">more</a> <a href=https://friendofood.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">specific </a> <a href=https://meaninglesscomplaints.blogspot.com target="_blank">subject</a> <a href=https://backgroundtv.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">blogs</a> that are not quite daily, but on-going when the subject comes up. <br />
<br />
In any case, this entry marks another major change of life (though the actual physical change is still just symbolic as the activity has not commenced) as the elliptical machine, all $4300 worth, was delivered yesterday. It sits relatively next to the recliner (all $300 of it... maybe it's time for an upgrade lol) in the corner of the living room, facing the TV, so i have a choice of activities when I come into the living room. Sit and vege in front of the TV, or work out on the elliptical while I vege out in front of the TV. Or music, music is a good motivation and accompaniment to both exercise and relaxation. Anyway, a major expense marks a major change, as does moving into a new space, radically changing lifestyle, diet, physical activity, relationships, and so on. So if I remember this blog exists, I'll at least record the life change here. The elliptical arrival is what brings us here today. Hopefully a change in diet and lifestyle to increase exercise and fitness and all the benefits that come with that will follow. In the end, for the moment, I am still alone in most everything. I've got a great roommate who shares meals and chats and expenses and time and space, but the heart that still longs to be in love remains waiting for the person who can inspire that again. Life is pretty near perfect, otherwise. <br />
<br />
So how is your record playing?<br />
<br />
Narf :)<br />
<br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-45420353030368848502019-08-14T08:50:00.001-04:002019-08-14T08:50:33.878-04:00All The Writings<p align=justify>All the words, what <a href=https://web.archive.org/web/20050306110001/http://home.att.net/~anonanonanon/goo.html target="_blank">goo</a> it all becomes, what potential for an emotional tsunami awaits in boxes in storage. Books, disks, tapes, and more. For the <a href=https://incaseitmatterstoyou.blogspot.com/2019/08/for-record.html target="_blank">record</a>, the threads are still connected, even if they appear invisible. The links within the links may explain it all, but if not, at least they are there with their hints, puzzles, mazes, and all the fun of the fair. Writing is what I do for myself in this life. Maybe the most important thing, for me. Even if no one ever reads, it has completed me. <br />
<br />
Still, I hope to share someday. :)<br />
<br />
All is well, for the record, in this life. In the world, not so much, but the fears are not mine, so my perspective remains pure, innocent, and clear of the tragedy of humanity. Most of the time (hey, nobody's perfect). I do my best not to be sucked into the human <a href=https://wordsfromotherminds.blogspot.com/2008/10/madhouse.html target="_blank">madness</a>. I much prefer my own. <br />
<br />
Even when someone else's words describe it. :)<br />
<br />
Work, Softball, and comforts at home. <br />
<br />
Life is good today. <br />
<br />
Hope yours is too. <br />
<br />
Narf :)<br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-15626455094942025702018-02-10T19:47:00.001-05:002018-03-06T21:50:07.916-05:00Another View<p align=justify>I suppose the more accurate assessment than <a href=http://recordofalife.blogspot.com/2017/06/no-record-no-life.html target="_blank">no life</a> would be <i>another view</i> or <i>a different perspective</i>. There is life, it is just not recorded here. It is recorded almost daily in two other blogs and less frequently in several more blogs. Most of them are <a href=http://rhetroric.blogspot.com/2011/06/blogs-and-other-strangers.html target="_blank">listed here</a> along with a whole lot of other web places you can explore. That is part of what I do in this life. I could offer a <a href=http://dirtdramadetails.blogspot.com/2017/09/farther-on.html target="_blank">random</a> <a href=http://dirtdramadetails.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">entry</a> but unless you realize that each are momentary, fleeting, transient, and as meaningful or meaningless as we might make of each in any given moment, there is little chance you will understand(link goes here). This (<a href=http://wordsfromotherminds.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">madness?</a>) has been going on for <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">years</a> (maybe <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2017/05/still-wide-awake.html target="_blank">frozen in time</a>... are we creating a pattern here or what?... probably more what... what?... so much what... and rainbows... rainbows through our tears... and the laughter of wonder... do you remember laughter?). If you <a href=http://somethingcompletelyindifferent.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">really want to know</a>... <br />
<br />
...we have our ways). <br />
<br />
Work, softball, food, friends, what am I leaving out? The missing piece is love, partner-type love. Without that, there may never be enough motivation to keep this record of a life up to date on a daily basis. I'd rather stay lost in the distraction and amusement of <a href=http://rhetroric.blogspot.com/2011/06/blogs-and-other-strangers.html target="_blank">all this babble</a>. <br />
<br />
Narf :)<br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-53373877226537881382017-06-05T03:19:00.002-04:002018-02-10T16:32:05.932-05:00No Record, No Life<p align=justify>As Bob Marley sings <i>No Woman, No Cry</i> in my head and I wonder if I should hear it as telling a woman not to cry for being a woman in this world in dire straights or as telling a man not to cry for not having a woman or for telling us all not to cry for these and many other reasons... there are dry tears and I think... perhaps there is no record because there is no life. <br />
<br />
Someday we'll all understand (there's always hope). <br />
<br />
Narf. <br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-72277411363025615662017-03-07T03:21:00.000-05:002017-07-30T14:35:38.703-04:00New Worklife<p align=justify>Finally, after another long early retirement that this time drained savings to high risk levels, I return to a risk management department (or program) at a level of responsibility ideally suited for what I want at this time in life. It took long enough, but I may have found what I was looking for, at least professionally. The heart still seeks what it seeks, in case it matters. I am Safety Officer for the County. It is supposed to be an important position. The job has been open for as long as I have been looking and it took all this time for us to find each other. Life is strange. At least, this time, it goes on. Details are somewhere, if you care. <br />
<br />
<br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-76409280756232692852016-11-02T03:27:00.000-04:002017-06-05T03:37:22.741-04:00Another Move<p align=justify>From one room to another as one friend decides I have overstayed my welcome. Surprised and sad as the welcome was for a few years and the welcome mat was pulled out after five months with very short notice. The search for income begins ore seriously as the luxury first offered is gone. That is life. Luckily another friend rolled out the welcome map (and in a more realistic way) in his home (complete with kitchen and space this time, though much work needs to be done as he is seldom home and has some old house issues with plumbing and mold). Life remains lonely in many ways, though I play ball and play cards and am busy most nights. Not much else worth remembering, I suppose. <br />
<br />
Still, it turns me on.<br />
<br />
Narf :)<br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-54697328833583160922016-03-18T05:25:00.003-04:002016-03-18T05:25:51.729-04:00simple summary<p align=justify>unlike the previous entry, this intends to be a simple summary record of a life entry... as we <a href=http://recordofalife.blogspot.com/2015/05/is-this-ridiculous.html target="_blank">previously</a> <a href=http://recordofalife.blogspot.com/2015/11/beyond-ridiculous-is-forgiveness.html target="_blank">pondered</a>, it may be a bit ridiculous (or beyond) to call this a record of a life because it appear to have so many gaps... it may be this is a broken record of a life (better than a record of a broken life, though there is a dark side to everything)... and it appears we are digressing in spite of the intent... <br />
<br />
gone are the girl, the dog, the cat, the job, the comfort, the luxury, and the space... we covered the dog and the job a previous entry... the cat and girl, alas, moved on... for the best as we all want a life partner and i believe she finally found hers (hoping)... having drained savings taking care of the comfort and living space (and a whole lot more) over the last half dozen or so years, i decided to move into an unfinished room in a house a friend owns... i am lucky he offered it rent free as i can relax a bit in the cramped quarters and stop reducing savings... the past week has been a challenge as i adjust to the space, but it is the best path for now... <br />
<br />
further updates will likely follow... <br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-51167491112450101392016-03-12T04:59:00.000-05:002016-03-20T03:38:53.757-04:00unnoticed<p align=justify>ok, so maybe i am not some sort of <a href=http://candor.tumblr.com/post/137962957734/you-have-got-to-be-a-genius-with-a-sordid-tortured target="_blank">tortured genius</a> and maybe all <a href=http://rhetroric.blogspot.com/2011/06/blogs-and-other-strangers.html target="_blank">this</a> is just so much <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2016/02/how-many-days.html target="_blank">lost time</a>, but the <a href=http://somethingcompletelyindifferent.blogspot.com/2016/03/please-dont-try-to-fix-me.html target="_blank">bottom line</a> (if you care, if it matters, and if you are paying attention) is accepting that everything changes even when no one pays attention and <a href=http://theseblogginglives.blogspot.com/2016/03/a-two-step.html target="_blank">new</a> <a href=http://theseblogginglives.blogspot.com/2016/03/step-two.html target="_blank">things</a> sprout up all the time... this particular record of a life has been sputtering along for years now just waiting for it's time in the sun and hoping for some clarification of it's identity as an entity, as a blog, and suddenly we find <a href=http://incaseitmatterstoyou.blogspot.com/p/about-this-blog.html target="_blank">another new daily begins</a> (but wasn't this going to be the next new daily blog?... <a href=http://dirtdramadetails.blogspot.com/p/about-this-blog.html target="_blank">apparently not</a>)... <br />
<br />
so the <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2016/02/how-many-days.html target="_blank">e-the-real</a> passes into the past quietly and like the others, it may see an entry now and then for whatever reason, but a <a href=http://incaseitmatterstoyou.blogspot.com/p/about-this-blog.html target="_blank">new daily blog begins</a> and it, like e-the-real, is intended to be brief... it appears to also intend to follow more literary structure than any previous daily (sentences and periods and stuff like that).... this probably belongs in <a href=http://theseblogginglives.blogspot.com/2016/03/a-two-step.html target="_blank">this blog</a> which is more of a record of the blog gardens, but it seemed to come out here (after the first entry in this box was moved <a href=http://timetochangethesubject.blogspot.com/2016/03/hope-springs-eternal.html target="_blank">here</a> (and then underwent the additive experience) because it just did not seem like a record of a life blog post, but it is not just craft that is new, the new daily has a <a href=http://dirtdramadetails.blogspot.com/p/about-this-blog.html target="_blank">partner</a> where additional information (babbling, let's call it what it is) is dumped (elaborated life)... <br />
<br />
meanwhile, behind the scenes, a taste of <a href=http://paragraphsofasort.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html target="_blank">another new blog</a> that may or may not have <a href=http://paragraphsofasort.blogspot.com/p/about-this-blog.html target="_blank">purpose</a> was alive for a day... in the <a href=http://dirtdramadetails.blogspot.com/2016/03/wide-awake-at-4am.html target="_blank">blink of an eye</a> (or is that the grand scheme of things?... really, it could all be so <a href=http://timetochangethesubject.blogspot.com/2016/03/hope-springs-eternal.html target="_blank">dramatic acquiescence or something like that</a>), <a href=http://rhetroric.blogspot.com/2011/06/blogs-and-other-strangers.html target="_blank">it's what i do</a>, ya know? (if you only clicked all the links, you might)... <br />
<br />
what?... <br />
<br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-13526962145456272652015-11-07T05:12:00.002-05:002015-11-07T05:13:47.360-05:00beyond ridiculous is forgiveness<p align=justify>it's all about removing judgment, really, and understanding that time is relative and this is not a <i>daily</i> or <i>concrete</i> record of a life, rather, it is a relatively <i>abstract</i> record of a life... and what is <i>a life</i>, anyway?... and does it matter if we agree on answers?... only for communicating, so when communicating starts, we can start defining words in more detail... until then, this is what it is... and what brings me here tonight is a flurry of entries <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2015/11/request-plea-verily.html target="_blank">real</a> reminder of the way <a href=http://bwme.blogspot.com/2015/11/i-still-want-to-believe.html target="_blank">into me</a> and my <a href=http://candora.blogspot.com/2015/11/the-definition-of-delight.html target="_blank">heart</a> and <a href=http://outotblue.blogspot.com/2015/11/the-way-out-of-blue.html target="_blank">out of the blue</a> which was inspired, for better or worse, but the black and blue results of getting beat up in life again... it is <a href=
http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2015/11/sad.html target="_blank">sad</a>... for the record, this has been a sad week that is following a much <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2015/10/it-was-his-time-goodbye-happiness-part.html target="_blank">sadder</a> month and i obviously let the energy drop, sadness grow, and apathy expand too far... <br />
<br />
and what sort of record is this when i am not actually recording what happened?... <br />
<br />
last month we terminated the dog... this month the job terminated me... i'm the lucky one, my termination was just income and work... the dog, he's gone... it was <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2015/10/it-was-his-time-goodbye-happiness-part.html target="_blank">his time</a>, alas, and we could have justified doing it last year, actually, but we nursed him as long as he could smile and show he was enjoying life... as for me, losing happiness (the blog name for our dog) was a large part of the downward spiral that ended in losing my job, but the dip in life force has been tripping me up for a couple of years and the hole is getting deeper... yeah, for the record, depression swings it's heavy hand at me now and then and sometimes, it connects quite well... <br />
<br />
and still, the overall level of joy is quite giddy most of the time... we can attribute that to the irreverent perspective of relativity i bring to most every experience in this life... and the understanding of the temporary nature of this life helps a lot... but then, there are <a href=http://rhetroric.blogspot.com/2011/06/blogs-and-other-strangers.html target="_blank">plenty of other blogs</a> that give deeper insights and creative expressions of me and life and the universe and everything so before this simple <i>record of a life</i> fails in it's initial intended purpose, let's just say bye bye happiness, income, and a little more time... and thank goodness for <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/search?q=softball&max-results=20&by-date=true target="_blank">softball</a> which is going quite <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2015/11/so-as-i-said-softball.html target="_blank">well</a> this season... and for jackson, so i am not completely alone in time and space... <br />
<br />
so for the record, my happiness still rises above my sadness and while life is challenging, it is also much fun... and for the record, i need a new income so if anybody is reading and knows about a job in the Orlando, Florida area, please pass the information along... <a href=http://candoor.net/resume2015.html target="_blank">online resume here</a>... <br />
<br />
thanks... <br />
<br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-47721104524329252452015-05-06T00:09:00.001-04:002015-06-10T19:50:28.987-04:00is this ridiculous?<p align=justify>calling this a record of a life when it is not much of a record, unless, of course, it is a record of not much of a life... it may be a life lived <a href=http://recordofalife.blogspot.com/2014/12/elsewhere.html target="_blank">elsewhere</a> in space and time as the words recording thoughts and feelings and events and more does <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2015/04/people-in-real-life.html target="_blank">continue</a> daily and more often and the <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2015/04/what-i-do-is.html target="_blank">babbling</a> <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2015/04/wish-you-would-have-known-me-when.html target="_blank">fool</a> leaves so many loose ends and dangling participles and lost people in the wake of words that the point may be lost on <a href=http://forthe1.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">everyone</a>, perhaps, like those linked here, i retired to my <a href=http://forthe1.blogspot.com/2014/12/my-madhouse.html target="_blank">madhouse</a> and dismissed recording it or much of anything without even noticing... is this noticing?... <br />
<br />
there is work that fills most of the awake time, a 24/7/365 gig taking care of others through many other people who take care of others... it is work i love in spite of the challenges of trying to keep a hundred people happy and motivated when the majority earn $10 an hour physically taking care of people who can do almost nothing for themselves... the responsibilities leave little time for anything else, but still i enjoy life away from work as much as possible... <br />
<br />
there is softball at least a few times a week... schedules and leagues change throughout the year, these days i play monday and friday evenings and practice on the weekends (the sunday season just ended)... dangerous as i risk an 80-100 mile per hour four inch round rock hitting me from under fifty feet away every time i pitch, but it is the position i play and enjoy best (perhaps it is the control freak in me, or dare-devil, or aderenaline junkie, or perhaps it us a savior/martyr thing, feel free to engage in analysis if you wish to come closer and get to know me in thereal world)... win some, lose some, can't get enough of playing the game... <br />
<br />
other evenings i relax at home, sometimes alone, sometimes with my roommate of many years (though she works even more hours than i do these days to pay bills and dig out of debt and to keep from incurring more - or borrowing more from me... taking care of others has drained me financially in this life, a couple of times to the point of destitution, but it's the giving and caring for others that i love so much, if you recall)... i do not socialize with other friends much these days, conserving energy and licking wounds and <a href=http://forthe1.blogspot.com/2014/12/my-madhouse.html target="_blank">as i said</a>, whatever... <br />
<br />
and then there are words, my love affair with words is well documented <a href=http://rhetroric.blogspot.com/2011/06/blogs-and-other-strangers.html target="_blank">elsewhere</a> and though i do not read much these days as reading leads to sleep when i am fatigued and i am fatigued most evenings after work and softball, i continue to write as if someone waited for my next letter with baited breath (do i?)... if i slept healthy hours i'd have very little time for anything other than work and softball, but i find myself dancing through my mind after brief naps and come to these internet boxes and type as i am doing now most nights... most nights, i can relate to <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2013/07/delightful-even-at-4am.html target="_blank">this</a>... <br />
<br />
and that is a record of a life as i know it in this moment... i don't know if i would come here to record life daily if there was any interest beyond my own, but somehow i find myself here tonight for what it's worth... the dream of sharing myself and someone else and life still lives and breathes somewhere inside, even if i stay too busy to remember most of the time... better than being lonely or depressed over unfulfilled desires... or something like that... <br />
<br />
are you <a href=http://candor.8m.com/mp3/KellyClarkson-Irvine-StudioVersion.mp3 target="_blank">there?</a>...<br />
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<br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-50421749192593266792014-12-20T23:09:00.004-05:002014-12-20T23:13:56.963-05:00elsewhere<p align=justify>so it has been a year of relative disconnect from this blog as i am <a href=http://recordofalife.blogspot.com/2014/06/still-missing.html target="_blank">still missing</a> the point, or time, or motivation, or desire, or whatever it will take to move into any sort of daily updating of this record of a life, but at least the life continues as it is, with inner glee and bliss dominating the quiet moments alone in spite of lonely chaos all around... of course if i knew someone was <a href=http://peacefulchaos-letsleepingdogslie.blogspot.com/2010/02/thank-you.html target="_blank">reading</a> i might find myself making time to return here more, but the <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspit.com target="_blank">daily writing</a> remains elsewhere and it may be because i a waiting for someone to <a href=http://forthe1.blogspot.com/2014/12/my-madhouse.html target="_blank">understand</a> (and let me know) or maybe i am simply content waiting <a href=http://bwme.blogspot.com/2014/12/to-understand-me.html target="_blank">inside</a>, even if no one ever knows... i can still <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2014/12/deeper-or-forgotten.html target="_blank">imagine</a> memories (if you know what i mean)... of course this record may be just for me and i am not interested, but the truth is i would rather be having fun with words than analyzing that bit of amusement or depression at the moment... anyway interested can find me elsewhere and who knows what might change here or there or everywhere if some sort of communication was initiated... <br />
<br />
simply, i am busy busy busy with work and relaxing anytime i am not working... work is very gratifying and challenging, as the frustrations are outweighed by the rewards of helping others (which is still my favorite thing to do in life)... softball is on hiatus this month and yet i recently started dropping weight and hope that continues... home is neglected as both jackson and i are hardly here, both working that much, but we don't think about personal stuff much and stay on the surface... the tv plays a lot in the background and i watch dvr-ed shows as i fall asleep most nights... i miss music, but still squeeze in a concert now and then (melissa etheridge in recent weeks, chicago and alice cooper and motley crue a few months ago... that's what i remember for now)... deep down i remain open to falling in love again, but i am not looking and getting less willing to compromise with each passing year (<a href=http://bwme.blogspot.com/2014/12/to-understand-me.html target="_blank">as i've said</a>)... that's the record for now, for what it's worth... <br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-5677018723004273302014-06-15T02:10:00.000-04:002014-10-13T00:28:25.860-04:00still missing<p align=justify>and if they are ever found, this entry might not make sense and might need to be amended or even deleted, but even if the missing entries are finally uploaded, the fact that they were missing at the time this entry (and the previous one) was uploaded will not change... whatever that means to you when you read this, it is part of the record of this blog which is supposed to be a record of a life, or something like that... the old ways may be <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2014/06/for-few-listening.html target="_blank">hanging on</a> somewhere, perhaps in an <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2014/06/i-think-this-is-repeat.html target="_blank">endless loop</a> (or so that song goes), but that is not actually where this record wandered off to, no, there is a divergence the words do not explain, though perhaps somehow, there are <a href=http://lifecalledmine.blogspot.com/2014/07/may-never-be-noticed.html target="_blank">secrets</a> other writers may understand somewhere in the links that may lead closer for anyone interested in pursuing an exploration... <br />
<br />
we are not asking <a href=http://caringisaverb.blogspot.com target="_blank">who cares</a>, we (the few, the many) are just letting you know this record has <a href=http://bullsugar.blogspot.com target="_blank">paused</a> or <a href=http://boredcaring.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">stuttered</a> or <a href=http://candoor.blogspot.com target="_blank">past</a> or something like <a href=http://outotblue.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">that</a> and it may not seem that way now, but there are <a href=http://theseblogginglives.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">places</a> to find more information about this life if you care to know... <br />
<br />
the missing record can be found, you just need to want to find them, to know... and ask... <br />
<br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-62188441405319231552014-04-01T23:43:00.001-04:002014-04-01T23:47:56.258-04:00missing records<p align=justify>and lots of them at that... months have passed since i started the new job and so many things have happened, blissfully positive milestones, frustrating challenges that, once resolved, were sweet highs... the juggling of responsibilities and solutions continues every day and next to nothing is mentioned here... there is the semi-rambling (but brief) daily blog that may have stretched a thousand or more entries past it's prime (any interest in reading six thousand entries to start catching up?... yes, i said <i>start</i>, those 6000+ are just the most recent incarnation of the daily blog that's been evolving for years (<a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2014/04/back-to-where-we-were-again.html target="_blank">tic</a> <a href=http://candoor.blogspot.com target="_blank">tic</a> <a href=http://candoor.diaryland.com target="_blank">tic</a> back in time cuz you know, it's <a href=http://caringisaverb.blogspot.com target="_blank">relative</a> in <a href=http://theseblogginglives.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">this blogging life</a>, with a touch of <a href=http://bullsugar.blogspot.com/ target="_blank">bullsugar</a>, or something like <a href=http://lifecalledmine.blogspot.com target="_blank">that</a>... <a href=http://candoric.blogspot.com target="_blank">what</a> <a href=http://rhetroric.blogspot.com target="_blank">what?</a>)... <br />
<br />
simply, it's been busy times... much work, but it's good to be the boss and have the freedom to choose the hours and tasks i do from moment to moment... much fun, especially softball as i feel very comfortable playing well these days, batting over .800 with an on-base percentage even higher consistently on all of my teams and pitching really comfortably as well so my teams as winning most of their games (four championships and one trip to a national world series in 2013) which is great for the ego but even better for the social life and even more importantly, for the body (cuz what good is any of it if the body dies, aye?... wouldn't be much of a record of a life then, would it?)... the car is cool, much praise and smiles, though the gasoline engine is still such a very flawed example of the sad suicidal tendencies of the human species, but that's another story)... much life, shared well, but still missing the coupling of a single monogamous partner, alas... perhaps i choose to be too rational (logical?) to accept the illusion (and perhaps delusion, for most) required to create such a relationship, but that dream is still the only dream i know (as someone once sang)... so with a wistful smile and wide-eyed giggle that only the innocence of youth understand, i thank you for your patience and hope you enjoyed the little catch up that finds it's way here... <br />
<br />
saving lives, saving games, saving money (well, two out of three ain't bad, ya know?... hey, laughter maintains some semblance of sanity in the face of insanity, so stay the course and keep the <a href=http://lifecalledmine.blogspot.com/2014/04/game-perspective.html target="_blank">perspective</a> high)... that's the bulk of the record of a life, at least for now... feel free to reach out for more anyway you choose, as you wish, even... and may the smile of narf be with you :)<br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-11700499710382856242014-02-08T00:11:00.000-05:002014-03-02T00:19:14.831-05:00a car is born<p align=justify>star?... bought?... somehow, the metaphor got twisted... and the date, eleven minutes past (so actually this is about yesterday, i mean, for accuracy of reporting and all)... a new 2014 toyota corolla s (as in sports model, i suppose) almost premium (minus the heated faux leather seats, which i need in florida like a tazmanian devil needs a hole in the head) has replaced all the rentals i've been driving for weeks (or longer)... and not just loving every minute of it (and the neat gadgets inside), but gleeful over loving the keyless touch entry and push button start... first world orgasms (shhh, i know, people are suffering and i am in consumer heaven... sign and all that)... somewhere, a more wonderful description of the pleasure and giggles inspired by the new toy full of new toys may be written, but for now, this entry is to record the purchase of the new vehicle - long live the car... <br />
<br />
narf :)<br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-43627051842154625822013-12-11T00:13:00.002-05:002013-12-11T00:13:35.456-05:00perhaps plateauing<p align=justify>even after all this time (referring to the time passed since the last entry here, not to suggest nothing worth recording happened, but just not recording the life in this fashion or blog), much is the same even as much changes... work continues to inspired smiles, some days more smiles, not a day of pure frustration yet (which is amazing if you knew how frustrating the previous job i had was)... wonderful people, imperfect but mostly trying... just sensing some avoidance from a couple or few who may know no other way, but hopefully they will learn to trust and be the family they all say they want to be... each day more progress, more rewards, more to learn and more connections and more respect... relatively complete autonomy, though some processes are happening without me because i don't know the process (because my boss has not had time to walk me through it) and my managers have been doing it without an administrator for a while and not knowing the process i am not able to effectively provide the leadership and structure and communications they all say they want, but they are being patient and so am i... so i am settling in and feel good about how i am being accepted and trusted... <br />
<br />
meanwhile, changes in the rest of life... friends are in need and i am giving them my softball sundays for a few months... as if the universe knew i was giving up sunday afternoon softball and sunday morning softball is on hiatus and jackson and i were gonna enjoy football season for the first time without softball in six or seven years and the universe said no, you'd rather help friends in need... <br />
<br />
and then there's the car... the same day the friends in need started being my sunday, the car reached a point where i rented a car (to help my friends) and since then, i've been renting a car every week... five weeks now... foolish expenditure that could have been a chunk of down payment on a car and time passes because i am working so many hours and have not had time to car shop offline except saturday and i have not wanted to do it on saturdays... the car i probably want is a few hour drive and jackson has been too busy too drive me there on saturdays anyway... i haven't wanted to ask anyone else to give me a day and drive a few hours and wait for me to car shop... <br />
<br />
yeah, i procrastinate from time to time and it costs me money... hopefully by the next time i record life here in this blog i will not be paying a weekly rental and have a new car... if the apartment doesn't cost too much... yes, there is an apartment snafu... the current place wants a $150 increase when the lease is up in at the end of january... no way is this place worth that... so now we need to search for other places when i don't have much time to search for a car, so i did some online research and found a much better place for the same price they are asking... the cost of moving and deposite and pet fees are another six car payments, or more (close to $2000), but hey, it's a better place... so jackson wants to meet with the manager here to see if they will negotiate and we will do that one morning this week... <br />
<br />
just like a soap opera, huh?... <br />
<br />
wonder what will happen between now and the next record of a life... <br />
<br />
wonder when that will be... <br />
<br />
wonder why i am wondering... must be fatigue... or something i ate... good night world (moon too)... <br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-47287569658983439292013-11-05T23:57:00.001-05:002013-11-05T23:57:43.826-05:00another step forward<p align=justify>every day can be and lately, every day <i>is</i> another step forward... especially at work... and the best thing about it is the work does not feel like work because i love what i do even more than i loved what i used to do... and if you do what you love, it never feels like work... so i am putting in more hours each day and taking on more responsibility each day and taking care of more people each day and seeing more smiles and using my skills more each day and doing what i love to do more each day and even getting thank yous each day and it feels better than anything has for a long long time... <br />
<br />
and i hope i am not premature in celebrating my good fortune because i'd like to be celebrating similar good fortune twenty years from now in good health doing what i love... heck, i hope to feel secure in the continued relationship with this organization next year and for the years to come... but it is, after all, today that matters most and today was a wonderful sense of moving forward and success... <br />
<br />
this week i am focusing on buildings systems of communication and improving safety and security in the place... and i am working on building confidence in my directors and stability in my team... i am identifying bridges that need to be built between key directors and managers and identifying personality conflicts that need to be addressed... and the strongest and weakest links in the chain of leadership and communication that holds the organization together (the weakest links being the biggest risks) and keeps it moving forward improving care and services (the weakest links being obstacles to safe and positive improvements)... <br />
<br />
it is wonderful to feel comfortable as an administrator... even as it absorbs most of my time and energy... hopefully i will continue to feel comfortable and productive and successful tomorrow :)<br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-11033945161001938052013-10-30T05:51:00.003-04:002013-10-30T07:26:13.650-04:00taking a brief breath<p align=justify>let the brain and body fall asleep early last night, the sun was still up at the time, and woke naturally a couple of hours ago... moved clothes from the washer to the dryer... then sat here and explored a bit... most of this month i have been away from the internet, the blogging, the facebook, the twitter (i did not realize that i ignored twitter since july... and nobody missed me, go figure... my online presence is so deeply incognito, so unintrusive, so invisible most of the time... occasionally on facebook i engage in conversations, but i do not keep in touch with anyone on any sort of frequent basis online anymore on any sites in any way... i miss those i used to call friends online... and in a strangely warm and genuinely meaningful way, treasure the few who occasionally reconnect with a few words for brief moments... even those i never actually met offline... life is like that, i suppose, we make of it what we want it to be and choose what matters to us in our minds)... <br />
<br />
the new work life does not allow much free time for pondering anything these days as i am expanding my work connections, building working relationships and learning more systems each day... this week i started modifying some and creating new systems to provide needed structure for the management team, holding our first management meeting on monday to lay out the first steps for reorganization for them and yesterday i visited sister facilities in tampa, connecting with a senior DON (director of Nursing) there to enlist her help as a consultant for my DON who is very new to administrative nursing and needs to build her confidence, assertiveness, supervisory, and medical decision-making skills... nurses typically rely on doctors for most medical decisions, but a DON in an ICF must make many more decisions, including medical decision, than the average nurse... it's a learning curve that can take time, but it starts with active support and i helped set that up for her yesterday... then i had lunch and met with my counterpart at the tampa ICF... some questions answers, some war stories shared, and another bridge built... <br />
<br />
so this morning i took a few hours to enjoy my time, the mostly silent stillness of night... it is a cool night, no air conditioner needed, patio door and windows open, lots of green life breathing fresh air into my lungs, and a quiet darkness under a twinkling sky... <br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-88005709289478404642013-10-15T04:49:00.000-04:002013-10-30T05:27:59.312-04:00into the office<p align=justify>first day free of the orientation tether, so now begins the on-the-job training which i sense will be as much up to me as anyone else as my supervisor does not have much time (who has <a href=https://twitter.com/candoor/status/395480695096623104 target="_blank">time</a>, anyway?)... explore, research, be responsible and all that cuz that is what good bosses are supposed to do... chill a little, don't be too excited, relax and be cool and confident and enjoy the experience... listen to people, respect everyone, choose each action carefully, take each step deliberately, though tread lightly and carefully and remember to smile... <br />
<br />
make it a wonderful new day :)<br />
</p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-47566234158614479022013-10-08T06:09:00.002-04:002013-10-30T04:47:04.091-04:00a new life crawls into viewstarting a two week orientation to be followed by a week or few of transfer-of-powers does not provide a clear demarcation of changing a life or lifestyle, though waking before the sunrise and putting on office clothes and driving in rush hour traffic to sit in a room and listen to others for nine hours yesterday for the first time in more than a year does make for a reasonable crossover from the life of leisurely semi-retirement to the rat race of the working life, so the new job starts here... cue the waterboys... or queue... <br />
<br />
<br />
<center><font color=#666666><br />
if you find a link to the song i referenced, let me know and it shall appear here<br />
until then, we rely on three of the most important things in life<br />
imagination, memory, and trust</font></center><br />
candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-88004065294753552272013-09-14T04:57:00.003-04:002013-10-09T22:05:51.125-04:00job newsyes, it appear i will be working again in a few weeks... more to follow<br />
<br />
i lied, sort of, but if you did not come back here for a few weeks, you wouldn't have noticed that nothing came until a few weeks after this entry and that is primarily because i am babbling elsewhere so <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2013/09/friday-thirteenth.html target="_blank">here is some</a> and <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com/2013/09/job-news.html target="_blank">here is more</a> and if you click and read, you have the job news you were not waiting for (unless you <i>did</i> come back here to find out what more was to follow in which case, ooops, apologies, and thanks for your interest and patience)... <br />
<br />
i shall update more often, especially if i know you are checking in on this record of a life... but even if noone is, it is meant to be a record of a life for me and anyone who might card anytime now or whenever so i ought to and hope to return more regularly without the distracting babble amd asides and such as this might be and simple put the daily events and thoughts and feeling about the experiences that can be recorded here to be the record of a life... <br />
<br />
or something like that :)candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-19660345964948615672013-09-10T02:34:00.000-04:002013-09-10T02:37:49.654-04:00hope it's not a broken recordthis record of a life, that is... maybe that's why i am not actually jumping in a writing in this blog on a daily basis and staying over in the already flooded (and therein pretty well formed) <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com target="_blank">(e)thereal</a> with most of my daily writing... oddly, perhaps, <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com target="_blank">(e)thereal</a> was supposed to be a daily life blog with brief daily entries, something none of my other daily blogs was able to accomplish because, well, i tend to babble... i love babbling, but i figured a brief daily blog might actually be easier to read and there, actually read now and then... as you might notice if you visit, <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com target="_blank">(e)thereal</a> became a babbling blog, though the entries were somewhat shorter than previous blogs, there were many more of them, especially in recent years... so i still love babbling and the few readers who have followed me through the years (some of whom have become dear friends on and offline) apparently love babble too (or at least tolerate it)... i might have mentioned this and even linked the other blogs in a <a href=http://recordofalife.blogspot.com/2013/07/july-in-wait.html target="_blank">previous entry</a>... <br />
<br />
the life of leisure is coming to an end... the early retirement is coming to a conclusion... the extended vacation is reaching it's last days... and while softball is in gear wednesday, thursday, and twice on sundays (with practices frequently on saturdays... no word from the two friday leagues yet though), the working world is returning to the field of vision and the interview for the top job on the list (monetarily, at least) went very well last week (the vice president and i chatted for more than two and a half hours, which is usually a very good sign in an interview)... the telephone interview with human resources today was late and skimpy and redundant and i have to take some responsibility for that as i could have been more prepared to sell myself with snappy bullet points, but their hr recruiter seemed disorganized and minimally interested, sticking to the script and rushing through the interview (perhaps because she forgot - though she claimed her phones were acting up when i called a half hour after she was supposed to call me)... anyway, thursday there are a series of interviews at different sites with top level management and i am hopeful... meanwhile, resumes shall start going out daily this week cuz, as i might have said (and you might have noticed), the time for income production is quickly arriving... on the near horizon... relatively soon... <br />
<br />
i can be quite repetitive ate times... redundant, even... hopefully this blog, if it ever actually becomes the brief daily life blog i have been toying with for years, will not be too repetitive as, even though i do love my word play, the last thing i want to do here is make a broken record of a life :)candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-76067275069254234232013-09-02T01:05:00.000-04:002013-09-10T01:23:35.968-04:00what day is it?locally, as in this particular life you are reading about, joe camel (go ahead, look up the reference if you don't know it) is suddenly not the most popular camel in media... if you don't know who (if we agree to call a camel a who) <i>is</i> the most popular camel, then you must not watch tv, which is probably most of the world, but for those of us who watch tv at least occasionally (or who find new amusing and potentially classic commercials on the web), you know what i mean... but just what does this have to do with this particular record of a life?... well, the camel's famous line became the go-to tension breaking phrase for the team all through the world series and now, it is the initial unifying joke in the fantasy football league that jackson and enjoy with other friends every year... jackson, by the way, is my beautiful roommate in case i have not introduced her... and there you have some actual life recorded here in this blog... <br />
<br />
perhaps, eventually, this will become less slapstick asides vying for yet another bad reality tv show and more direct recording of life which would likely surprise all of us, but perhaps, to get there, this sort of occasional entry beginning is what is needed (how long has this <i>beginning</i> going on?... is this an aside?... well, aside or not, it's been going on since i started a new phase in life by leaving a desk and job and professional life i lived for more than eleven years which would be about a year and a quarter, that's how long, for what it's worth)... <br />
<br />
we (our sunday morning softball team, in case you were distracted by the potential aside) did well for our first world series, finishing with a 3-5 record and just a -2 run differential... we were in it all the way, that is - no game got out of hand, we were not run ruled, and right until the last inning of each game we had reasonable chances to win... our biggest loss was by four runs and that was to the team that was booted out of the winner's bracket after a protest was upheld because they had players that should have been rated higher and belonged in the C division, which is cheating if their league knew what they were doing and they (the officers of the board of their league) are supposed to in order to qualify for the world series in the first play... we met them in the consolation bracket (cuz even cheaters get to play in the consolation bracket)... most important, we had much fun (and a little drama, but then, it <i>was</i> the gay softball world series, after all :)<br />
<br />
there are so many reasons i love our sunday morning team... the openness and friendliness of the gay community is just part of it... even though jackson is taking a season off, she's still and always will be part of the team... my four or five other leagues are not nearly as organized and have no year-round camaraderie or traveling tournaments or world series... they have two senior ASA umpires for every game (other leagues have either only one umpire or have kids learning how to umpire with no ASA training at all)... we have sponsors to keep costs down and the other leagues are at least three times the cost per game... but best of all, the core of the team is family (by adoption, as in we adopted each other) and the love (and practices and after-parties) makes the softball all the more fun... <br />
<br />
and next week, the fall softball season begins and hopefully i will have all five of my leagues up and playing withing two weeks, maybe even a sixth this season... yeah, i love my softball... there's a lot more to this life i am recording than softball and in other entries i'll likely babble on a bit about other stuff, but when i am asked what days is it, it's <i>hump day</i> once a week, but <i>every</i> day is a good day for softball :)<br />
candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-20102075629102040452013-08-23T19:53:00.000-04:002013-09-10T00:26:34.813-04:00august of windstormy month, as usual, and i am still not recording life as i might have intended to do in this record of a life, though i am attempting to give the appearance of keeping in touch as i vaguely remember this blog exists as i mostly continue to ramble on in the last attempt at brief daily life blogging (as opposed to the babbling so natural to the writer in the brain in which i find myself in this life... see links prior entries for examples if you have simultaneous curiosity and patience and a love of words), though in this past month the river of words is presenting the appearance of drying up (which it does every now and then, like once or twice a decade, present the appearance, that is) as i have barely maintained daily contact with the written gardens (which is the euphemistic metaphoric name we call the piles of journals, diaries, spiral notebooks, and other hard copy writings and the vast web of words uploaded in many scores of places in cyberspace on the internet) as a visit to the babbling brevity of <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com target="_blank">(e)thereal</a> will show... <br />
<br />
next week i head to washington dc for a softball world series as my sunday morning team played well enough to make it be one of the two teams representing orlando, florida in the D division (mostly recreational, though it's competitive at the top of any division), which is where i live in case i have not mentioned it before... wow, an actual sliver of actual real life recorded here in this record of a life... who knows, the record of a life just might start blowing through this place any day or week or month now... fun is what life is about, especially when enjoying time away from work, which is what i've been doing this year so far... shhhh, don't tell the budget director, he's sweating and hold his chest in the closet... i think he somehow got untied as i've been hearing banging on the door lately... ah, the scheduled return to the work force was for next month (at least the hard core job search is supposed to begin then), so it just might be time to stop slipping valium and quaaludes under the closet door and let the poor guy out... <br />
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record of a life, complete with metaphors, petaphors, and gigaphors, whatever they are :)candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2690976379778549277.post-32459511112141624062013-07-18T17:31:00.000-04:002013-09-09T19:53:26.387-04:00july in waitjuly?... no, don't lie, i don't lie, you don't lie, all good children don't lie... halleluyah, aye?... even if most people do, but seriously, if you lie in wait for the next update in this blog, then i apologize for the time passing without entries (and for the punishing spanish accept playfulness of the title and start of this entry, for what apologies are worth in this format and context and mode of sharing, after all) and hope to update a bit more often... it is is all one long experiment in sharing writing and blogging, after all, in <a href=http://theseblogginglives.blogspot.com target="_blank">this blogging life</a> for me, the writer of this and at least a hundred other blogs over the last decade and a half online (and longer offline), to simple record life as it flows, to write about it briefly in the first person as i experience it, to simply be a record of a life... <br />
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and so far the babbler, who has babbled <a href=http://candoor.blogspot.com target="_blank">on</a> and <a href=http://candoor.diaryland.com target="_blank">on</a> and <a href=http://candora.diaryland.com target="_blank">on</a> and (<a href=http://rhetroric.blogspot.com/2011/06/blogs-and-other-strangers.html target="_blank">etc</a>) for untold years, lifetimes, even, and actually is (the babbler, pay attention son) still running all over any semblance of or attempt at <a href=http://e-the-real.blogspot.com target="_blank">brevity</a> and this blog has not really found it's voice as a daily or anywhere near daily record of a life, but there's always hope (we hope) and the mission we've accepted (without self-destructing anything anywhere) is to find a way to write a record of a life, so here we are and here it is, sorta... <br />
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in time, perhaps an actual mostly daily or more record of a life will appear where this mostly scattered smattering of excuses and reasons and silliness now appears, but until then, at least there is some continuance, some continuity, some sort of entry to maintain the appearance of promise, vigor, frivolity, and activity in the brain (what are we going to do tonight, Brain?) in this record of a life... <br />
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even if it is kinda on the level of Pinky, narf :)<br />
candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0